Make Everybody Join the NRA!

Picking up on Nancy Sinatra’s idiocy about the “murderous NRA members,” and then joining the Left in making rules to force everybody to do this and that, I apply some statistical reality to arrive at this conclusion: we could nearly eradicate murder in this country if the government forced everybody to join the NRA.

Because, Nancy, NRA members just don’t commit murder. I suppose that someone can find some NRA member somewhere was convicted of a murder at some point in history, but it’s pretty much unheard of. Otherwise, I am sure we would all have heard this from the commie propagandists. Therefore, in a Democrat Big Brother Idiocracy sort of way, I conclude that making everyone join the NRA would stop everyone from killing anyone.

(You might not be able to make them join, but you could impose an extra income tax on them for not joining. The legal precedent is there with Obamacare, right?)

Life Could Just Be So Good Here in America (P.S. It really is.)

Democrats, your people just keep fussin’, rantin’ and ravin’. They just can’t be happy, now can they? You got football players making millions who just can’t be thankful that somehow, they got to live in the United States of America. You got “professors” with long shaggy hair, gettin’ all “outraged” over Robert E. Lee who — last time I checked — died a few years ago. They would be funny, except they’re so nasty and, the more you try to talk sensibly to them, the meaner they get.

Maybe you more sensible Democrats can get your side to just simmer down, sit down, chill a bit, and think about just how good they’ve got it. But, if you find that they just can’t, then shake them off like the blood-sucking ticks they really are. And, be thankful you live in America. Maybe listen just a little — only a little, now — to your more conservative ex-friends.

Because, your friends are jealous of others and want to tell everybody else what to do, how much to make, what to eat, where to put it — and the list goes on. Why don’t you tell them to go out, get a real job, earn a little money, save some for a boat, and start to live a little. Like this guy singin’ my new favorite song.

Sources Say Trump Is Russian!

In faking breaking news, CNN (unnamed) sources say that Donald Trump is actually Russian! His real name is Donolov Trumpitsky. Born in Minsk, the son of turnip farmers, young Donolov became an eager leader of the Young Communist League, executing several other children personally because they failed to show sufficient awe when passing by a statue of Lenin. He was promoted within the Party when he organized firing squads to thin the ranks of the elderly, people of color, LGBT whatevers, all women he could not rape, and anyone who spoke as much Spanish as “adios.” As part of his promotion, he was assigned to manage his parents’ turnip farm collective. When they failed to make quota, he ordered them “fired” too — literally by Mosin Nagant firing squad, at which time the terrified peasants gave him the Russian equivalent nickname of “You’re fired!”

Trumpitsky managed the turnip collective so efficiently that he turned a profit and, therefore, was sent to a Siberian prison camp. However, his fortunes changed when he saved the entire camp from starvation one especially harsh winter. Prisoner Trumpitsky brushed the prison establishment aside, took over, subdivided the cell blocks and garden plots, and managed food distribution. A faction of deranged prisoners protested against young Trumpitsky even though they were all about to starve otherwise, but a new regime in Moscow recognized him as a hero. The Party redeemed him from Siberia, and convinced him to become a foreign agent, working inside the United States.

A conservative video maker who infiltrated CNN headquarters as a muffin salesman, recorded CNN editors on tape saying any source denying that the Russians thought Trump would win, is “no more believable than Hillary Clinton talking about lost email or Benghazi.”

Harvard Prof Says 3% Americans Own 50% of the Guns

Bob Owens hilariously reports this absurd study at Bob’s site, The professor Bob is laughing at says 3% of Americans own 50% of America’s guns. Apparently, a “super-owner” has on the average, 17 guns.

I know lots of guys with 17 guns. I must know almost all of the super-owners. How in the world would you ever discover how many guns there are in this country? Impossible. The research is statistically invalid from the get go.

But, we could fun with his methodology. Profesor, no gun owner is going to talk to a dweeb leftist social researcher about guns. Instead of gun ownership dropping, I’d say gun ownership “reporting” is dropping.

I might tell one of our friends at the NRA, if they asked. But, we all know better than to ask. How rude; how awkward; how inappropriate that would be. Even of them; no way I’m answering questions posed by some commie.

Another conclusion might be that there are really lots more guns out here then they ever dreamed, and whomever does talk is underreporting. Now, I figure that’s true, just based on the people I know. Besides, once you own one, or two, or three, the rest is pretty much rounding out the collection. Over a lifetime, it’s hard to avoid owning lots of guns. I’ve got a .22 rifle that I don’t even know how I got. No idea where it came from.

If the guy had asked me, I might have told him “250” just for the fun of it.

Quick explanation of the electoral college

If New York City, Chicago and Los Angeles run the entire country, why would the rest of us remain?

Hillary knew going into the election, that she had to win states. She rebuffed all of us out here, and chose to play strictly to those in Hollywood, the Upper West Side, and eastern Massachusetts. She even doubled down on gun control for Pete’s sake, a loser issue if ever there were one, except, of course, among the Marx-infected Left. So, she lost. Your candidate lost in a state landslide.

If my state becomes irrelevant to who presides over the country, then why would my state hang around? Go, and create your urban, overtaxed, gun-controlling, high crime Idiocracy without us. Yeah, good riddance to you, too.